It's 11pm, almost 12 and instead of sleeping or even doing the desperately needed house work (the laundry, oh god, the laundry) I am writing this. In a week or so I start down the path to becoming a internationally accredited doula, three years ago when I was pregnant with my son I had no idea what doula's were, or that they even existed. I was sitting in our apartment, completely oblivious, my greatest worry being that my morning sickness wasn't going to stop (it didn't stop), and that my husband wouldn't be at the birth, as he was/is in the Royal New Zealand Navy, he spent most of pregnancy at sea.
I spent most of pregnancy eating the only things I could keep down (burger rings and rodeo burgers), watching four seasons of the big bang theory (my son still reacts to the theme song) and being bored on facebook. It was on facebook that I first stumbled upon doula's. I was the Natural Parenting Magazines page, when i saw an ad for doula looking for work. I contacted her via email explaining I was looking for someone to be at my birth to support me. I didn't want to give birth in a room full of strangers (without even my husband), and since I was going through the public system for my midwife I wouldn't even know the person delivering my baby. I had just turned twenty and I was scared. To be honest I was not impressed with the response, and I didn't end up hiring the doula, I went to report later and it turns out said doula was not accredited.
That was the last I thought on the subject for a very long while. Right up until my birth actually. My birth was a pretty awesome experience as a whole, I mean, I got this amazing little guy out of it, and as a bonus my husband was there. But I do have several improvement points for next time around.
Six hours in, I had spent most of that in a kneeling position, thinking and praying through my contractions, yay for the distraction method. I spent some time in the pool, in the same position. All in all I have pretty set that I was going to give birth on my knee's, without anyone touching my stomach. Unfortunately, and here is where a doula would have been great, the midwife in charge put me on the bed on my back the moment I felt the need to push.
It's three years in August and I still remember arguing that I did not want to be lying down at all I wanted to stay on that floor. I still remember the midwife telling me I had to give birth on the bed because that is the way it was done, and there wasn't another way to do it. But within forty minutes I had my beautiful son, so I am grateful to the midwives who delivered him.
However, I look back and see so many opportunities where a doula would have been a great help particularly with the troubles we would go to face with my son (who was diagnosed failure to thrive within two months) . A little more information about breast feeding and informed consent would have been excellent, most of which is my own fault I went in without doing any research on breastfeeding, I was told antiquated advice (twenty minutes on each side only) and felt generally out of depth at all times.
I look forward to the future, to my study, I know I am starting out on a new path and that it will be worth the work I put into it. After all, the babies of this country and their mothers deserve the best we can give them. I hope to be the person that helps with that. how you give birth to babies. Never again will I give birth on back.
I came out of the childbirth system feeling like there was a gap in the childbirth system, a gap for people like me who just needed a little bit more information without feeling bullied or looked down upon. Now that my son is getting ready to be a preschooler, that wonderful time when my life suddenly empties a bit because the center of my world is growing up and will be out of my care, I am looking into options of fulling that gap.
At first I looked into Midwifery, but my own health kept me from being able to keep their schedule. From there I started to look at both doula and childbirth education, from there I could study to be a lactation consultant, then I could offer best help possible to new and expecting mothers. More than anything I would like to help expecting mothers through their pregnancy, labor and beyond so they look back and feel as though they had the best experience and the best support.
I look forward to the future, to my study, I know I am starting out on a new path and that it will be worth the work I put into it. After all, the babies of this country and their mothers deserve the best we can give them. I hope to be the person that helps with that..
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| Myself (20) and my minutes old son, on my back |
